He was short, but he liked the ladies He also liked the boys He was a maybe He made them proud With the dimmer switch down He was the guy I stole All my ideas from He wasn't shy, and he got by Sung with a sigh But he didn't have my guile Hey, hey, let's go stealing Let's go thieving from the books That we're reading Hey, hey, let's go stealing Let's go thieving from the songs That we're hearing Well, the books that he read Well, I skimmed them too fast And I couldn't get past the language He was a bit like me But with much better teeth He was the guy I stole all my ideas from He lived near the coast I'm not saying where He might have the teeth But, honey, he's losing his hair Hey, hey, let's go stealing Let's go thieving from the books That we're reading Hey, hey, let's go stealing Let's go thieving from the songs That we're hearing I eat through the day I've been putting on weight It suits me they say, don't you reckon? I should walk the dog more But the dog ain't bored She just eats here with me and we're happy Hey, hey, let's go stealing Let's go thieving from the books That we're reading Hey, hey, let's go stealing Let's go thieving from the songs That we're hearing