Screams and moans and bats and bones Teenage monsters in haunted homes The ghosts on the stair The vampires bite Better beware, there's a full moon tonight Cannibal spiders creep and crawl Boys and ghouls having a ball Frankenstein, Dracula and even the Mummy Are sure to end up in someone's tummy Take a fresh rodent, some toadstools and weeds And an old owl and the young one she breeds Mix in seven legs of an eight-legged beast Then you are all set for a cannibal feast Sit around the fire with the cup of brew A fiend and a werewolf on each side of you This cannibal orgy is strange to behold And the maddest story ever told