I'll tell you a story that happened to me One day, as I went down to Cork by the Lee: The sun, it was bright, and the day, it was warm. Thinks I, "A cold pint wouldn't do me no harm". I went to the barman; I says, "Give me a stout!" - Says the barman, "I'm sorry: the beer is sold out; Try whiskey or vodka ten years in the wood" - Says I, "I'll try cider - I hear that it's good". O never! O never! O never again! If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten! For I fell to the ground, and I couldn't get up, After drinking a pint of that Johnny Jump Up! After lowering the third, I headed straight for the yard, Where I bumpeb into Brophy, the big civic guard. "Come here to me, boy - don't you know I'm the law?"; Well I up with my first, and I shattered his jaw! He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up, But it wasn't I hit him; 'twas the Johnny Jump up! The next thing I saw, down in Cork by the Lee, Was a cripple on crutches, and he beckoned to me. "I'm afraid for my life - I'll be hit by a car! Would you help me across to the Railwaymen's Bar?" And, after three pints of that cider so sweet, He threw down his crutches, and he danced on his feet. Chorus I went down the Lee Road a friend for to see. They had him in a madhouse in Cork by the Lee. And, when I got there - the truth I do tell - They had the poor bugger locked up in a cell! Says the doctor to him, "Say these words, if you can: 'Round the ragged rocks the ragged rascal ran' " - "Tell them I'm not crazy! Tell them I'm not mad! 'Twas only six pints of that cider I had!" Chorus A man died in the Union by the name of McNabb. They washed him and laid him outside on a slab, And, after the coroner his measure did take, His wife brought him home to a bloody fine wake. 'Twas about twelve o'clock, and the beer, it was high, When the corpse, he sat up, and he said, with a cry, "I can't get to Heaven! So, before I burn up, I'll drink me a pint of the Johnny Jump Up!". Chorus