The two-step it drug like a ball and chain While the band was playing something like Moon River or Somewhere Over The Rainbow And I was chasing the black man with the champagne And I was chasing the black girl with the Oysters Rockefeller And it was a highbrow occassion For no special reason And nobody knew Nobody knew That the flowers were furnished by the funeral parlor And the whole thing was paid for by the funeral director Who poisoned the saxophone section And if you ain't the big daddy You ain't nobody If you ain't the big daddy You ain't nobody Red and yellow, black and tan But white that's the color of the big boss man It was a twenty-piece orchestra at the Warwick Hotel With some fat man from the opera who tried to sing Misty And it was black men and black boys in white ties and tails And mascara and rouge and fake fingernails If you ain't the big daddy You ain't nobody If you ain't the big daddy You ain't nobody Red and yellow, black and tan But white that's the color of the big boss man They had them everywhere man They had one on every foot and every hand And they was all saying yes sir And right away ma'am And they was picking up plates And they was pouring wine And they was checking umbrellas And making shoes shine And they was handing out towels in the washroom For a quarter And it was an acceptable level of ecstasy As far as everyone could see But nobody knew That the flowers were furnished by the funeral parlor And the whole thing was paid for by the funeral director Who poisoned the saxophone section And if you ain't the big daddy You ain't nobody If you ain't the big daddy You ain't nobody Red and yellow, black and tan But white that's the color of the big boss man