This morning, it occurred to me I might not look quite like a natural blonde And I can't help but feel conned The picture on the package showed a model with no baggage Promising wild sex and marriage With a big color chart wand This morning, it occurred to me I never will quite have a supermodel's legs (never in a million years) Unless I cut each one in half Become half an octopus Or to become synonymous with cocaine Glamour, riches, beauty and crack I took a trip to the national gallery for There was something more refreshing in what Ruben saw My supermodel's legs Think they were plucked From a rubenesque world (Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah) My supermodel's legs Look pretty crap on a Five foot four girl (Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah) Oh, women, men and in-betweens Why don't you just stop dieting? Go bake, eat cake, go cheer Drink beer, worrying is b-boring If people said: Eat loads of cake You wouldn't want much anyway And then you wouldn't stuff your face And look like king Henry the 8th Present, we're told off every day For living our lives the wrong damn way Suck my leg, what's wrong? I say If I want six coffees a day Oh, women, men and in-betweens Why don't you just stop dieting? Go bake, eat cake, go cheer Drink beer, worrying is boring me Oh, I get more turned on by Pink cupcakes and heroin Not rock 'n' roll I'm much more Mary Poppins Oh, supermodel's legs They never held up much weight In my world (ooh, ah, ooh, ah) (Ooh, ah, ooh, ah) Oh, supermodel's legs 'Cause women should be women Girls should be allowed to be girls (Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)