I was the kind of kid back in school Who wore a members only jacket, thought he was kool That's when I met katrina, she was best friends with seshel I thought she was the one, yeah I thought she was special I saw her in the hall about quarter til three I said I'll take you in my nova, to the tasty freeze She said I know all about you, more than I should I know all about the dirty mags you keep in the woods So tell me how I'm supposed to be when I've been stalked by alesbian I can't sleep a wink, and I'm married to the ephedrine How am I supposed to act when I've been stalked by a lesbiannow Now don't take it light, it may seem funny to you Yesterday my science project, was covered in glue So I asked that guy seshel, was it something I said He said quit being so fuckin' paranoid, it's all in your head The way she's looking at me, I think she wants me to be, The guy that always gets shot in every movie you see She's walking this way, oh my god what should I say, I hope and pray that one day she'll be straight So I was at a bar the other night and I looked across the roomand there's this girl and she walks up to me and she's beautiful andshe says 'Hey, I'm Katrina, dude, remember me?' and I freaked I said'Oh my god I thought you looked familiar' about this time this 400fucking pound woman walks up with Katrina's face tattooed on the side ofher neck, she comes waddling and says 'DON'T FUCK WITH MY GIRL' Ilooked at Jabba straight in the fucking eye and say 'Don't worry everytime I picture Katrina's face it's gonna be on the side of yourgross, fat-assed, 3 chinned neck' she says 'Are you stupid?' I say 'NO I'M JUST SOBER!!!!'