I said a bad word when I was a kid Mama said that I'd be sorry for the sin that I did My daddy whooped me and the preacher said shame And I tried like hell to change But I cuss, I smoke I laugh at dirty jokes The minor vices Man, I know 'em well I've closed down bars I've lusted in my heart My ex's think I oughta burn in hell But the devil he won't notice when I die Don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry Politicians taking pork barrel bribes Crooked CEOs are getting off with no time Christmas Eve burglars stealing good children's toys Holiday burglars stealing good children's toys Yeah, there's gonna be a bonfire burning An everlasting barbecue But with all the bad stuff going on There ain't gonna be room for me and you 'Cause we cuss and we smoke We laugh at Tater's jokes The minor vices Man, we know 'em well We've closed down bars We've lusted in our hearts Our ex's think we oughta burn in hell But the devil he won't notice when we die Don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry Don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry