There's a mushroom on my eyelid There's a carrot down my back I can see in the distance a vast quantity of beans To you I'm just a flavour to make your soup taste nice Oh my God! Here come the onions and, I don't believe it At least a pound of rice There was a time when bacon sandwiches Were everyone's favourite snack I'm delicious when I'm crunchy, even when I'm almost black So why you make a soup with me I just can't understand It seems so bloody tasteless Not to mention underhand Now there's no hope of getting out of here I can feel I'm going soft Dirty waters soak my fibres The whole saucepan's getting hot So I may as well resign myself Make friends with a few peas But I just, I can't help hoping That a tummy ache will bring you to your knees Bring you to your knees