Can you fit up a drainpipe? Scavenge the bins? Have 6. 000 babies? Trial new medicines? Can you slip in the toilet? Spread death and disease? Do you eat your own feces? Mmm, better than cheese Do you like biting children? I live in disgrace Let's terrorize humans It's time to infest We're the rat attack brats Forgettable rats Parasitic rats Satanical rats Rat attack rats Scum of the night Nauseating And ready to fight CGI's a mess And we have human hands What the hell is going on here? No one understands Um, excuse me My name's Jane And I'm a little lost My owner's just flushed me Down the toilet Ugh, quit squeaking, kid I'm Scat Rat This is Scabies We're the hood rats That run these streets We only care about RuPaul's Rat Race RuPaul's Rat Race Whiskers twitchin' RuPaul's Rat Race May the best rodent win Ho-ho-ho-hold up Rewind that track Rat-egory is Bring It To The Subway Subway, Su-su-su-subway Whiskers, fur, claw, nose Coming for y'all rat hos Despot sex, tail for days Sick bitches, and watch me slay Eenie, meenie, miney, mo Bitch, house rats got nowhere to go I'm the big cheese, don't scatter, please Gonna win this race, give the crown to me Rat-a-tat-rat, rat-a-tat-rat Rat-a-tat-rat, rat Rat-a-tat-rat, rat-a-tat-rat Rat-a-tat-rat, rat RuPaul's Rat Race May the best rodent Best rodent win What is this, exactly? Is this a movie or a stage show? Andrew Lloyd Webber would never greenlight this mess What am I meant to do with this? Who are they? Ugh Ugh They're the rat pack AKA The extras The extras We all thought Rats Would be a huge success But looks like we signed up To a real hot mess Now that Oscar's out of sight We can't leave now until it's morning light The running time's Too long The CGI's All wrong Can we have a rewrite? I don't think we can We really, really, really need a back-up plan Back-up plan, back-up plan Can we save this movie? I don't think we can None of this is real, it's all special effects I'm not too sure it does the final checks My bare arse came out on screen The rat pack big shot had to leave The scale is wrong All wrong They made my tail Too long Can we have another movie? I don't think we can We really, really, really need a back-up plan Can we save this movie? I don't think we can Everybody, quick It's Depravity and her pesky sidekick Diphtheria Oops! Dysentery! Wrong Rusical! I'm the psycho killer Rat thumb on the trigger I'll destroy your babies My bite will give you scabies I'm the rat castrator Planning to kill you later I will feast your dinner Eat you up and lick you away Now I set my trap I'll get you for that Now I set my trap I'll get you, little rat I'm the sick and twisted rat That's been blacklisted I'll kill all the rats Feed them all to the cats Now I set my trap, whoo I'll get you for that Now I set my trap I'll get you, little rat They've ratted on us! Quick, get out of here! Wow Uh-huh Rat got your tongue? Who are you? My name is Evita von Fleas Wait, but isn't that a different Rusical, too? Oh, it's all so confusing! Oh, don't cry for me This is a way better part Hit it! Yes The second you get a skin rash Feeling like you're about to have a seizure It's the rat-bite fever So trashy, so sexy Hey, won't you fill me in on how to get so sweaty Ooh, ahh Let me just spill you the tea I'll flash a nipple, I'm your filthy fantasy Swing it, baby Rat-bite fever Rat-bite fever Rat-bite fever Rat-bite fever Spread your legs and make 'em pee Cover yourselves My name is Dame Doody Stench And this Rusical ain't over Until the last fat lady sings It's Specimen One! The oldest lab rat! She's got a few memory problems So I'll help her with this next one All alone in the drainpipes She dreams of an uncaged life She was sickening then With frazzled fur and itchy with scuzz The nights keep getting colder Keep back, hold your distance Disease is taking over Stroke me Who cares about hygiene? Just look at my mammaries Please ignore all the pus Just a lab rat, a lonely rat Who yearns to be loved Look, my tail has fallen off Death drop! Oh! Shablam! Eew! Eew! It's RuPaul-dronomy Who's that? Oh, shut up! Oh, shut up! The time has come to announce the winner of RuPaul's Rat Race 10 rodents stand before me Oh. Seven rodents stand before me You've gotta be kidding Two rodents stand before me We did it! We killed the bitches! Oh, rats The end Be forewarned We will be your masters