T was the night before christmas
And all through the whore house

Every vixen was twerking and stripping to 'dead mouse'

The nylons were hung just afraid to stare
In hopes that saint nicklaus would enjoy an affair

The boys were nestled, tied up to their beds
As visions leather were teasing their heads

Whilst I sit in my creche for pound daddy's cache
We settled on nothing as nowhere to safe

When up on the roof there rode such a clatter
I set down my flocker to see what was the matter

But what tonight wondering I did appear
But a red bottom slayand a red-nosed reindeer

With a handsome old driver with harness and hand
Saint nicklaus arrived for his one-night stand

He was a little shattered and called me by name
As christmas eve nears he knows I'm the dame

He flew down my chimney with presents and toe
And a sackfull of toys for all the hoe hoe hoes

I laughed when I saw him despite of myself it was just him and I
And that elf on the shelf

In a wink of his eye and a twist of his beard
He soon gave me the sign that he came to get weird

He came for the eggnog and stayed for my cookies
And stuffed all my stockings when I wasn't looking

His *marah middle named* as he sprained to his slay

His belly sas he flew up up and away

But I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight
Merry christmas to all, and to all a good night