[Guard] (Spoken) Alright, when I call your name step forward. Pinocchio, the puppet. [Pinocchio] (Spoken) I'm not a puppet I'm a real boy. (Nose grows and he laughs) [Guard] (Spoken) That's your patch of mud down there. [Pinocchio] (Spoken) Oh, dopped on a swamp. Man, I tell you sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap. [Pinocchio] Life is disappointing, Whoa is what I know. Outted by my nose, That's just how it goes, For poor Pinocchio. Story of my life, Always doomed to fail. Cheated by a fox, Swallowed by a whale. That's the story of my life, oh yeah, That's the story of my life. [Shoemaker's Elf] Strife is never ending. [Guard] (Spoken) Peter Pan! [Peter Pan] Banished from the town [Guard] (Spoken) Ugly Duckling! [Ugly Duckling] They dragged me from the pond. [Fairy Godmother] They pulled my magic wand. [The Three Little Pigs] They blew our condos down. [Guard] (Spoken) Wicked Witch! [Wicked Witch] Life is but a witch hunt. [Mama Bear] Mama's in the mud, Mama's in distress. [Garden Gnome] They ridiculed my hat. [Three Little Pigs] They said that we were fat. [Big Bad Wolf] They tore my cotton granny dress, And called me a hot and tranny mess. [Guard] (Spoken) Sugar Plum Fairy! [All] Story of my life. Booted from ball Told to go away. [Humpty Dumpty] Tumbled off a wall [All] That's the story of my life. [Guard] (Spoken) You're late rabbit. [White Rabbit] That's the story of my life. [Guard] (Spoken) Have fun you guys [All] That's the story of my life. [Guard] (Spoken) And remember if we find you back in the kingdom you will be executed. [All] I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending. [Wicked Witch] And this right here, Not how it goes. [All] I always dreamed I'd get an ever after. If this is it, It blows (x3) [Pinocchio] (Spoken) This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm Disease I caught in Tijuana. [All] Story of my life, All the wasted prayers. All the broken dreams. [The Three Bears] All the broken chairs. [All] All the damage done [The Three Bears] All the busted beds. [All] All the shattered falls [The Three Bears] Pourage on our heads. [All] That's the story of my life, yes sir. That's the story of my life, oi vei. That's the story of my, Life [Pinocchio] (Spoken) Crap!