I'm writing "young and gifted"
In my autobiography
I figured, who would know
Better than me

I'm certainly the former
But I'm not so much the latter
But no one's gonna read it
So I'm sure it doesn't matter

When you find that you're the former
Take pride in how you form
And when you find that you're the ladder
Don't let those people walk under you

I'm writing "sharp and adult"
With my finger on the steam
On the mirror in my bathroom
While I'm applying shaving cream

Which would suggest that I'm the foamer
But how can I be the lather
And something tells me
It's the opposite I'd rather

When you find that you're the foamer
Be careful what you foam
When you find that you're the lather
Don't shave too high, you'll regret it later
La la la la

I've stayed in school this long
But still no one will tell me why
They figured who would know
Better than I

I know I'm a conformer
But I'm sure it doesn't matter
My new friends are all adults
And my old friends all have scattered

When you find you're a conformer
Take pride and swallow whole
But if you're trying to climb the ladder
Don't let people walk over you
Because that's just what they'll do
Don't let people walk over you
Because that's just what they'll do