I’m a christmas unicorn
In a uniform made of gold
With a billy goat beard
And a sorceror’s shield
And mistletoe on my nose

Oh i’m a christian holiday
I’m a symbol of original sin
I’ve a pagan tree and magical wreath
And a bowtie on my chin

Oh i’m a pagan heresy
I’m a tragic-al catholic shrine
I’m a little bit shy with a lazy eye
And a penchant for sublime

Oh i’m a mystical apostasy
I’m a horse with a fantasy twist
Though i play all night with my magical kite
People say i don’t exist

For i make no full apology
For the category i reside
I’m a mythical mess with a treasury chest
I’m a construct of your mind

Oh i’m hysterically american
I’ve a credit card on my wrist
And i have no home nor field to roam
I will curse you with my kiss

Oh i’m a criminal pathology
With a history of medical care
I’m frantic shopper and a brave pill popper
And they say my kind are rare

But i’ve seen others in the uniform
Of a unicorn just like me
We are legions wide and we chose no sides
We are masters of mystique

For you’re a christmas unicorn
I have seen you on the beat
You may dress in the human uniform, child
But i know you’re just like me

...

I’m the christmas unicorn! (find the christmas unicorn!)
You’re the christmas unicorn too!
It’s all right. i love you.

...

Love: love will tear us apart . . . again
Love: love will tear us apart . . . my friend
(i'm the christmas unicorn! you're the christmas unicorn!)