Hey, Janet
Yes, Brad?
I've got something to say
I really loved the skillful way
You beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet!

The river was deep, but I swam it, Janet
The future is ours so let's plan it, Janet
So please don't tell me to can it, Janet
I've one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Janet, I love you

The road was long, but I ran it, Janet
There's a fire in my heart and you fan it, Janet
If there's one fool for you then I am it, Janet
Now I've one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Janet, I love you

Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker
There's three ways that love can grow
That's good, bad or mediocre
Oh, J-A-N-E-T, I love you so

Oh, it's nicer than Betty Munroe had, oh, Brad
Now we're engaged and I'm so glad, oh, Brad
That you've met mum and you know dad, oh, Brad
I've one thing to say and that's

Brad, I'm mad for you too

Oh, Brad, oh, dammit!
I'm mad, oh, Janet!
For you, I love you too
There's one thing left to do, and that's

Go see the man who began it
When we met in his science exam-it
Made me give you the eye and then panic
There's one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Janet, I love you
Dammit, Janet, oh, Brad, I'm mad
Dammit, Janet, I love you!