There goes Simon;
he's got four girlfriends
and a moped they all want to ride on.
But he's only got one helmet
and there's only one of him so you know who will be wearing it.
They're smiling and laughing
but someone will say;
'it's an accident waiting to happen.'

Simon pretends that he can't hear,
he's got his brothers license and he'll be old enough himself this time next year.
A few years from now,
Simon'l be looking round,
going 'why did nobody tell me,
it wouldn't always be so easy,
to find a girl that likes me, I'm older now and slightly over weight.
And I'm alone, all the girls I knew have grown, they no longer answer the phone, when I ring them.'
Aww.

It's simple Simon,
you picked your fruit before it even had chance to ripen,
and now all those girls that like ya,
can see what you really were at school a bit of a wanker, a bit of a wanker.
it's such a shame, cus Simon you've actually changed, you're going;
why did nobody tell me, it wouldn't always be so easy, to find a girl that likes me, I
'm older now and slightly over weight.
And I'm alone, all the girls I knew have grown,
they no longer answer the phone, when I ring them.'
How strange.

It's simple Simon, it's simple Simon, it's simple Simon
you act your age and eventually a nice girl will come along and find ya.
It's simple Simon, you act your age and eventually the right girl will come along
and maybe she'll marry you and want to have a baby, or maybe she wont.
Well, not in that order, anyway.

A few years from now,
Simon'll be looking round, going 'why did nobody tell me,
it wouldn't always be easy, to find a girl that likes me,
I'm older now and slightly over weight.
And overdrawn, all the girls I loved have gone and they no longer answer the door

when it's me and I've spelt outside their house all night in my car and I wake up in the morning and I knock on the door quite loudly and say 'have you got any milk for theses coco pops, cus they're a bit dry without.'

It's simple Simon, it's simple Simon, it's simple Simon