Hold her hand in Dorothy Perkins
Order a Big Mac; let her pinch all the gherkins
Don't they know this is all part of modern romance?

Open mouths, touching tongues
Into town on the bus they were feeling no restraint
But the looks they were getting were strange

Open mouths, raised eyebrows
Can they not remember how it felt to live young?
Oh man! Those days must've been fun!

Fooling around, messing about...

Utter nonsense, a bit of fun
Maybe later they will find a convenient bike shed
To try out what they learnt in Sex Ed

Utter nonsense, a waste of time
They should be home reading books to enrich their future
And not the bloody Karma Sutra!

Watch as they try to write a fairytale
Sharing elegant kisses, leaving delicate trails of
Chapstick, Tic Tacs and cigarettes
They're skipping school but let's not forget
That these are the lessons that matter the most
The optimal method of removing your clothes
When you're sneaking into woods in the afternoon
Knowing full well you'll be in paradise soon

Open mouths, touching tongues
Into town on the bus they were feeling no restraint
But the looks they were getting were strange

Open mouths, raised eyebrows
Can they not remember how it felt to live young?
Oh Jesus! Those days must've been fun!

Fooling around, messing about...

Watch as they try to write a fairytale
Sharing elegant kisses, leaving delicate trails of
Chapstick, Tic Tacs and cigarettes
They're skipping school but let's not forget
That these are the lessons that matter the most
The optimal method of removing your clothes
When you're sneaking into woods in the afternoon
Knowing full well you'll be in paradise soon

Hold her hand in Dorothy Perkins
Order a Big Mac; let her pinch all the gherkins
Don't they know this is the height of modern romance?