It says here that the Unions will never learn
It says here that the economy is on the upturn
And it says here we should be proud that we are free
And our free press reflects our democracy

Those braying voices on the right of the House
Are echoed down the Street of Shame
Whrer politics mix bingo and tits
In a money and nombers game

Where they offer you a feature on stockings and suspenders
Next to a call for stiffer penalties for sex offenders

It says here that this year's prince is born
It says here do you ever wish that you were better-informed
And it says here that we can only stop the rot
With a large dose of Law and Order
And a touch of the short sharp shock

If this does not reflect your view you should understands
That those who own the papers also own this land
And they'd rather you believed in Coronation Street capers
In the war for circulation, it sells newspapers
Could it be an infringement of the freedom of the press
To print pictures of women in states of undress

When you wake up the fact that your paper is Tory
Just remember, there are two sides to every story.