[Version 1]

It may sound stupid when I say it out loud
Like I'm just jealous of his silver cloud
He looks real good he drinks diet Coke
He gets his NME's sent by air not boat

I wish I was him
He gets the women at his feet
With all his cool friends
He gets his records for free
I wish I was him
He has no enemies
I wish I was him

He's got six different flannel shirts
Airwalks not thongs
He even understands the words to Pavement songs
He's got his new guitar toys
He loves Smudge and the Beastie Boys

I wish I was him
He gets the girls at his feet
With all his cool friends
He gets his records for free
I wish I was him
He has no enemies
I wish I was him

I feel much better now I've let it all out
He's got big biceps and a masculine shout
I don't want to sound like I'm trying to be mean
But he plays guitar much faster than me

I wish I was him
He gets the girls at his feet
With all his cool friends
He gets his records for free
I wish I was him
He has no enemies
I wish I was him

I wish I was him
He gets the girls at his feet
I wish I was him
He has no enemies
With all his cool friends
He gets his records for free
I wish I was him
I wish I was him

[Version 2]

Well, it may sound stupid when I say it out loud
Like I'm just jealous of his silver cloud
He's crazy as hell, he drinks diet Coke
He gets his NME's sent by air not boat

I wish I was him
He gets the girls at his feet
With all his cool friends
He gets his records for free
I wish I was him
He has no enemies
I wish I was him

Well, he's got six different flannel shirts
Airwalks not thongs
He even understands the words to Pavement songs
He's got his little fan club and his guitar toys
He loves Smudge and the Beastie Boys

I wish I was him
He gets the girls at his feet
With all his cool friends
He gets his records for free
I wish I was him
He has no enemies
I wish I was him

Well, I feel much better now I've let it all out
'Cause he's got big biceps and a masculine shout
I don't want to sound like I'm being mean
But he plays guitar much faster than me

I wish I was him
He gets the girls at his feet
With all his cool friends
He gets his records for free
I wish I was him
He has no enemies
I wish I was him

[Spoken: Y'know he even knows the guys from Dinosaur Jr.
And he played on the first Blake Babies Album, how awesome
And you know that black stripey shirt he's got?
Well, I've got the same one, except it's red, but it's the same, y'know what I mean]

I wish I was him
He gets the girls at his feet
With all his cool friends
He gets his records for free
I wish I was him
He has no enemies
I wish I was him
I wish I was him