[Tab - Riff 1]

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[Tab - Riff 2]

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Dm
Welcome to the internet!

Have a look around
Gm
Anything that brain of yours

Can think of can be found
           F
We've got mountains of content

Some better, some worse
   A7
If none of it's of interest to you

You'd be the first

Dm
Welcome to the internet!

Come and take a seat
          Gm
Would you like to see the news

Or any famous women's feet?
        F
There's no need to panic

This isn't a test, haha
A7
Just nod or shake your head

And we'll do the rest

Dm
Welcome to the internet!

What would you prefer?
          Gm
Would you like to fight for

Civil rights or tweet a racial slur?
   F
Be happy! Be horny!

Be bursting with rage!
A7
We've got a million

Different ways to engage

Dm
Welcome to the internet!

Put your cares aside
         Gm
Here's a tip for straining pasta

Here's a nine-year-old who died
          F
We've got movies and doctors

And fantasy sports
      A7
And a bunch of colored-pencil drawings

Of all the different characters in
             Dm 
Harry Potter fucking each other


Welcome to the internet!

Hold on to your socks
         Gm
'Cause a random guy just kindly

Sent you photos of his cock
         F
They are grainy and off-putting

He just sent you more
A7
Don't act surprised

You know you like it, you whore

Dm
See a man beheaded

Get offended, see a shrink
        Gm
Show us pictures of your children

Tell us every thought you think
        F
Start a rumor, buy a broom

Or send a death threat to a boomer
   A7
Or dm a girl and groom her

Do a zoom or find a tumor in your—

Dm
Here's a healthy breakfast option

You should kill your mom
           Gm
Here's why women never fuck you

Here's how you can build a bomb
      F
Which power ranger are you?

Take this quirky quiz
A7                           
Obama sent the immigrants to
A7  Gm  F   E    Dm
Vac_ci_nate your kids

        Dm
Could I interest you in

Everything all of the time?
  Gm
A little bit of everything

All of the time
F
Apathy's a tragedy

And boredom is a crime
A7
Anything and everything

All of the time

        Dm
Could I interest you in everything

All of the time?
   Gm
A little bit of everything

All of the time
F
Apathy's a tragedy

And boredom is a crime
A7
Anything and everything

All of the time

( Dm  C  Bb  A7 )

Dm        C                
You know, it wasn't
Bb          A7
Always like this

Dm       C         
Not very long ago
Bb               A7
Just before your time
Dm           C                
Right before the towers
Bb      A7
Fell, circa '99

Gm                 
This was catalogs
Dm            A7          Dm
Travel blogs, a chatroom or two
           Gm         
We set our sights and
Dm                A7      C7
Spent our nights waiting

    F7
For you!
Dm7     Gm7     C7
You, insatiable you

F7                    Dm7   
Mommy let you use her iPad
Gm7        C7
You were barely two
       Dm         
And it did all the
Dm/C#     Dm/C         Bb
Things we designed it to do

     Bb              
Now, look at you!
C
Oh, look at you!
D   
You

G7  Em
You!
Am7          D7
Unstoppable, watchable

     G7                 Em7         
Your time is now, your inside's out
Am7         D7
Honey, how you grew
       Em       Em/D#         
And if we stick together
Em/D       A
Who knows what we'll do?
       C          D               
It was always the plan to
        B7            C
Put the world in your hand

( Em  Em/B )

        Em
Could I interest you in

Everything all of the time?
  Am
A bit of everything

All of the time
G
Apathy's a tragedy

And boredom is a crime
B7
Anything and everything

All of the time

         Em
Could I interest you in everything

All of the time?
  Am
A little bit of everything

All of the time
G
Apathy's a tragedy

And boredom is a crime

B7                          
Anything and everything and
B7
Anything and everything
B7            B7
And anything and everything and
                Em
All of the time