Chorus: F G C Am F G C

[Intro]
C
One, two, one, two, three, four...
C   F   Am   G

[Verse 1: Jesse]
C
Well, I can't tell if I'm shaking from the DTs or the cold
 F
By the way I'm feeling shitty man, this routine's getting old

[Bridge]
 Am                  G                          C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

[Verse 2: Jesse]
 C
Well, I wake up suffocating cause my lungs are filled with tar
 F
I've wasted far too many hours blacked out at the bar

[Bridge]
 Am                  G                           C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

[Verse 3: Whitney]
 C
Well, I feel so distant from a life I wanted years ago
 F
Torn between this road I'm on and where I called home

[Bridge]
 Am                 G                           C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

[Verse 4: Whitney]
 C
Chained down to a city, to a lover, to a bed
 F
A door has swung right open, I'll just step out here instead

[Bridge]
 Am                G                             C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

[Chorus]
 F                    G
I'm self-destructive, no one can save me
 C                          Am
You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe"
 Am
Why would you love me?
 F
You should learn to hate me
 G                  C
I'm going nowhere fast...

(Trumpet part one of three!)

[Verse 5: Whitney]
 C
Well, you know I'm feeling guilty cause I never seem to call
F
 Even though I'm far away, this world just seems so small

[Bridge]
 Am                G                             C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

[Verse 6: Whitney]
 C
Bitch though I'm broke I still have money for this beer
F
 The letters that I wrote to you, you can't see them from here

[Bridge]
 Am                G                             C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

(The Weasel Baby everybody!)

[Verse 7: Geoff]
 C
Standing out make a paper's penny and maybe a bit more
 F
My friends far away are the best things that I've got in store

[Bridge]
 Am                G                             C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

[Verse 8: Geoff]
C
Driving down the interstate, going way too goddamn fast
F
A few more hours, we'll be crashing, then later on we'll laugh

[Bridge]
Am                 G                             C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

(We The Heathens!)

[Verse 9: We The Heathens]
  C
All we've had for days on end is liquor, beer, and speed

F
Don't know what we're doing, but we think we need to eat

[Bridge]
 Am                G                             C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

[Verse 10: We The Heathens]
C
 We're eastbound on the highway, my friend's broke in Virginia
F
I've been drinking til I pass out, smoking crack with the RZA!

[Bridge]
 Am                G                        C
Why do I do this? Why do I do this to myself?

[Chorus]
 F                    G
I'm self-destructive, no one can save me
 C                          Am
You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe"
 Am
Why would you love me?
 F
You should learn to hate me
 G                  C
I'm going nowhere fast...

(Trumpet part two of three!)

[Verse 11: Whitney & Jesse]
 C
Well I'm running from my problems, to my problems I ignore
 F
Nevermind my absent mind, fuck what I'm running for

[Bridge]
 Am                G                             C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

[Verse 12: Whitney & Jesse]
 C
Well, we traveled to New London and got laid out on the floor
F
Fuck being nice, I swear I will not be nice anymore!

[Bridge]
Am                G                             C
Why do I do this? Why?! Why do I do this to myself?

[Chorus]
 F                    G
I'm self-destructive, no one can save me
 C                          Am
You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe"
 Am
Why would you love me?
 F
You should learn to hate me
 G                  C
I'm going nowhere fast...

(Last trumpet part!)

[Chorus]
 F                    G
I'm self-destructive, no one can save me
 C                          Am        G
You asked me if I love you, I said: "maybe"
 Am
Why would you love me?
 F
You should learn to hate me
 G                  C
I'm going nowhere fast...

[Outro]
(Mom and dad don't know everything!)
(Oh boy)