Ask any young man in this town who is over thirteen
To tell you about the things and places he's seen
If he tells you somethin' about women you haven't known
You can attribute his knowledge of anatomy to widow jones

Well jonesy was a go-go girl a little while before she married sam
He fell into the river jonesy said that's water over the dam
You say we oughta leave these matters to the good discretion of the law
But when you have a shape like widow jones you have a lotta friends at city hall

Well i don't bring her up because i think we should put her down
I just wanna she'd some light on the truth in this town
These boys'll learn things they couldn't've learned in our schools
And their parents can relax in knowin' that they're not all out and shootin' pool

Well jonesy was a go-go girl a little while before she married sam
He fell into the river jonesy said that's water over the dam
You say we oughta leave these matters to the good discretion of the law
But when you have a shape like widow jones you have a lotta friends at city hall
Yeah the widow's got a lot friends at city hall