Gm
Welcome aboard. Glamazonian airways
Gm
How is everybody doing this evening! Hello
Gm
Welcome aboard, welcome aboard I'm miss Valerie Valentine
Gm
I'm your economy slash coach stewardess or you could call me a flight attendant
Gm
But I don't care for that word "attendant" makes me sound like I'm gonna wait on somebody I'm not
Gm
I appreciate your attention at this time. We should be taking off shortly.
Gm
I would expect all kind of madness and turbulence to ensue
Gm
Please fully recline your chairs, turn on the massage function, and get ready to be happy, hunty
Gm
Welcome aboard, glamazonian airways, the queens of the sky
N.C
*Scream* There are 8, 000 people on board!


[Verse 2]
Eb
Now listen up
Eb
Looking for an exit
Eb
I'll make it clear
Eb
There are two in the front and one in the rear
Eb
You don't give a beep unless you a frequent flyer
Eb
Smoking ain't allowed unless your pussy on fire
Eb
Ohhhh we keep our wigs in the overhead bins (we do)
Eb
Oh, so none of your beep is gonna fit in. (sorry bout it)
N.C
If you drink enough alcohol you can fly anywhere, and you don't need a plane


[Verse 3]
          C                                   F
There's a seat belt seat belt in each of your seats
                       Am
It's there to make you skinny
                          G
It's gonna be pulled real tight, real tight, real tight, real tight
C                                                      F
Tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter...
N.C
*Scream* Now really that is far too tight. How do you expect anyone to breathe?


[Verse 4]
         E                A
When the oxygen mask drop down
Dbm                        B
Soaring through clouds and everyone feels it.
E                 A   Dbm
Sucking it in and out getting so high
B
We can't believe it
E                 A
All your troubles they'll will be
Dbm          B
Simply come imagination
E                 A
Take my hands and fly with me
Dbm             B
On a transworld transportation


[Verse 5]
N.C
There's a man on the wing of the plane
N.C
It's a woman! It's a man!
N.C
It's a woman! It's a man!
N.C
I believe they call them "drag queens"


[Verse 6]
Bb                Ab        Eb            Ebm  Bbm
If you wanna stay safe, you gotta do what mama says
        Eb                                    Bbm
In the event of a water landing, there's only one thing you better do
               Ab                           Eb
And let's have no misunderstanding, none of us is gonna wait for you
           Bb                           Ab                         Eb
You better use your padded ass as a floatation device, or else you drown
N.C
This is only a test *scream*


[Verse 7]
N.C
He used to take me into the cockpit
N.C
He'd blindfold me and say unspeakable things ZOO WEE GAA AA  AA 
N.C
And I loved it, I loved it! Ohhhhhhh, I looooooooved iiiiiit!
C
Don't kiss the pilot
         F                  Ab                     C
Or he'll fly you away, in a moment you'll never forget
            Bb                F
Nothing you felt is, like his manly embrace
      Ab                        C
As he guides you to his cock... pit!
             E                              Am
There are so many things that you can do to earn your wings
    C                          F
But never never never kiss the pilot
          Ab                            C
Cuz' that pilot yes that pilot man is-a mine
N.C
You bitch! *slap* Ohhhhh! *slap* Why I oughta! *slap*
N.C
Yoooou! *slap* Augh! *slap*
N.C
And now the main cabin of Glamazonian Airways is proud to present the vocal stylings of Miss Anita Napkin


[Verse 8]
F
Hi everybody
F
I'm here to tell you to put up your... tray tables
Gb
Weeeeee dubba doo dubba doo dubba doo dubba doo duh doo doo
Gb
Put up your tray, put up your tray tables
Ab                                                           Db
Put up your, put up your, put up your, put up your traaay... please!
N.C
Put it up now Put up yours
N.C
Wasn't she just great ladies and gentlemen? I had no idea you were so into scat!
N.C
*farts* Oooooh, gurl!


[Verse 9]
Dbm
Well must I tell you not to fart?
Dbm
I 'aint your drag mom
Dbm
We'll call the TSA if you drop a booty bomb
Dbm
The windows never open, there's no way to ventilate
Dbm
But we got RuPaul perfume and we sell it by the case
Db
E                    G
Glamazonian Airways, Glamazonian Airways
A          B             Db
We are the queens of the sky
N.C
Come on bitches show them how we
Gb
Work
Gb
Work it bitch X8