Dawdling in the cellar
Whining on the dungeon step
Underground dweller
Hammers at the coal-flap

Catching the gnats
Tearing off their opal wings
Frightening the rats
Wistful ghost sadly sings:

[Chorus:]
"Why no one ever peeps into this place?
No one sweeps out the dusty staircase
Many tricks I prepared
Even walls will be scared
Of my face!
Why rusty lock doesn't click anymore?
No one opens the folding door
Almost seventy years
No man hears
Bogie's terrible roar!"

The banister has to retain
Clammy scullion's hand
The eyes full of fear and his hair
Funny standing on end
And also these lovers that flew off without the pants
It should be so scary to hear my scream in the height of erotic romance

"Nickering mad"
"Shrieking demon in flame"
So many baleful names I have had
In the days of my fame

[Chorus]

O-oh!
Sweet shades of the past
Making people aghast
I was the maestro of fright
New blazonry every night
Incredible shows with infernal guffaws
Horrifying... emotional sight!

[Chorus]