There was a hen that made me miss my mornin’ call
There was a hen that really made my mornin’s crawl
There was a hen that made me tired and lazy
Loved her but she drove me crazy
There was a hen and now there’s no hen at all…

There was a doe that made my antler stand on end (boing)
there was a doe that made my jenny just my friend
There was a doe that tricked me, made me dumb
Strummed my strings and played my drum
There was a doe and now we aint even friends!

There was a jill that made me forget bout my hen
There was a jill that loved me but that was way back then
There was a jill that got me drunk and stupid
For a week her and I played cupid
There was a jill and now she’s gone like the wind

There is a mare that walks on stiff legs half the time
There is a mare that goes through barrels of wasted time
There is a mare that makes me scared a bit
So I hide out while her tail is clipped
There is a mare who’s head’s hard as a slab of lime