A      C#m
I don't like Jews (who make and distribute kiddie porn)
               Bm
Neither should you
        E
They're ethically and spiritually poor, that's a fact
            A                C#m
I don't like black people (who risk billions of other peoples' money gambling on future derivatives)
Bm
It's just not acceptable
      E
There should be some kind of law, that is that

[Verse 2]
              C#m               F#m
And I get the s***s with Inuits (who find out what job I do and offer me a racist joke or two)
Bm                                       Bm   C#m   D   E
They get on my tits, the little bastards
    F#m        E
And women (who judge other women for not holding the some views as them vis-a-vis career and mothering)
D
just make me so mad
                  E
Does that make me bad, am I bad?
Is that bad?

[Verse 3]
                C#m
And the f***in' Italians
                        F#m
I just cannot stand them (when they take a dive in the penalty box, denying Australia it's World Cup spot)
Bm
They really inspire my rancor
E
Cheating f***ing Italian wankers!
    A
And lesbians and the bicurious
                C#m
Make me furious (when their pride parade blocked the traffic flow,
C#m
when my baby had asthma and had to go to the hospital)
Bm                                E
It's not their fault, I know, but still... Grr!

[Verse 4]
            C#m         F#m
And f***in' Christians (who lean on their horn when my wife is being cautious at an intersection)
Bm                                              Bm   C#m   D   E
I just want to punch them in their faces (although my anger is fleeting. I understand their frustration
E
She's a little too hesitant)
            F#m                                 C#m
And I'm not comfortable with Muslims on the tube (who look over my shoulder when I'm readin')
            Bm                                          E   Fdim7
And I can't stand publicly breast-feeding mothers (who smoke cigarettes while they're feeding)

[Verse 5]
           F#m           C#m            Bm
And I hate gays who talk camply (during the final act of King Lear)
And the fuckin' Chinese make me angry (when they make sham erection potions out of the horns of endangered
Rhinoceri)

[Bridge]
           F#m
I hate the rich (who use their wealth as an excuse for bigotry)
           Fdim7
I hate the poor (who use their poverty as an excuse for bigotry)
       A
I hate bitches (who get rabies and try to bite babies)
       B7
I hate whores (who won't accept Visa)

[Outro]
        Bm
I hate Africans (I hate African racists)
        C#m
I hate Japanese (homophobes)
           D
I hate the disabled (I hate disabled rapists)
C#m
Burmese (and Burmese cats)
              Bm              C#m           D
Yeah, I don't care about your color or your creed
                        E               A
I will judge you for no reason
N.C.
[At this point, Tim "realizes" that he's made a mistake]
N.C.
[The song begins again with the full lyrics.]