A
Me and my buddy got us a wild hair
    D
And figured we wanted to go somewhere
      E                              A
So we loaded up in my ragtop Chevrolet
A
We had a little bit of money
A
And a whole lot of show
          D
And with Hank Jr. blaring on the radio
            E
We got us a tank full of gas
                    A
And we was on our way

[Verse 2]
A
We figured we'd go down to New Orleans
        D
We were barrelling down old 17
       E
When a man with a blinking red light
              A
Was on our tail
A
He said you were doing 60 in a 45
    D
But I'm gonna let you go this time
         E
But if I catch you again
                                     A
I'm gonna slap you in the county jail

[Verse 3]
A
We said thank you sir you sure been nice
        D
And you ain't gonna have to tell us twice
            E
And we were Southbound and down with the wind
               A
Blowing in our faces
A
We kept on rolling and pretty soon
    D
The radio was cooking out a Haggard tune
            E
And we were pulling into Houston
                      A
Checking out all them places

[Verse 4]
A
I was feeling dry and I said I think
            D
We ought to stop and get ourselves a drink
        E                                   A
And old Jim said yeah 'cause we got time to kill
A
We kept on rolling and I seen this spot
       D
And we pulled into the parking lot
        E                                   A
Of this place called the Cloud Nine Bar and Grill

[Verse 5]
A
We walked through the door

And the place was jammed
    D
The lights were low they had a punk rock band
         E                                  A
And some orange haired feller singing about suicide
       A
I said Jim this ain't our kind of place
             D
He said well let's just have one round anyway
   E                                          A
So against my better judgement we walked on inside
A
Went up to the bar and we sat down
     D
This feller walked up and said I'll buy this round
       E                                A
And he sat down on the barstool next to Jim

[Verse 6]
A
He looked like a girl but he talked like a guy
       D
He had lipstick on and mascara in his eyes
         E                                         A
And everybody in that place looked just about like him
       A
I said Jim this ain't our kind of bar
           D
Let's just go on out and get back in the car
               E
'Cause there's gonna be trouble
                           A
Ain't no sense in taking a chance
       A
We was getting up getting ready to leave
         D
When somebody grabbed old Jim by the sleeve
         E                                        A
And this good looking girl was asking my buddy to dance

[Verse 7]
       A
I said Jim don't do it there's something missing
        D
There's fellers dancing and fellers kissing
          E                                         A
There's a feller in high heeled shoes wearing panty hose
        A
He said partner I just can't turn this down
         D
You just go over there and have one more round
    E
And I'll dance with the lady
                          A
And we'll get on down the road

[Verse 8]
      A
So he walked away and left me alone
         D
But this funny looking feller kept coming on
           E                                        A
And he was making me mad with some of the things he said
        A
Then he put his hand on my knee
          D
I said if you don't get your paw off me
          E
I'm gonna locate your nose around
                       A
The other side of your head

[Verse 9]
          A
He said I love it when you get that fire in your eye
            D
I said well partner try this on for size
      E                                      A
And I unloaded on him and he went out like a light
     A
Everybody in that place must have been his friend
         D
They all headed for me I said this is the end
          E
But where I come from we don't give up
          A
Without a fight

[Verse 10]
          A
They were screaming and yelling and scratching and clawing
      D
I was punching and hitting and kicking and pawing
      E                                             A
I was holding my own 'cause I've been in a scrap or two
    A
Old Jim come running up out of the blue
         D
And that gal he was with come running up too
    E                                        A
And proceeded to beat on me with a high heel shoe

[Verse 11]
  A
I grabbed her by the hair it came off in my hand
         D
And that beautiful girl was just a beautiful man
    E                                        A
And old Jim just got sick right there on the floor
   A
He dropped that dude like a shot from a gun
            D
Smeared his lipstick made his makeup run
    E                                              A
And me and old Jim started fighting our way to the door

[Verse 12]
   A
We lit out of there in that Chevrolet
  D
I put in on the floor and it stayed that way
        E
We were going down the highway
                          A
Doing about a hundred and ten
        A
We were headed for home and we was getting nearer
       D
Then a red light came on the rear view mirror
         E                                  A
And that same blame cop was pulling us over again

[Verse 13]
        A
Now I'm sitting here in this county jail
         D
I had to call my daddy to go our bail
      E
But I learned me a lesson
                         A
That I never will forget again
          A
I've done give up drinking I've give up bars
    D
And running around the country in souped up cars
      E
To be back where the women are women
                A
And the men are men