D
It's your birthday today,
what does that mean? I guess I'll try to explain,
                               G
that twenty-one years ago on this day,
            A                                         D
it was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face,
and nine months before that magical day,
your dad probably took your mom out on a date,
              G
and they were having a good time,
                               D
they were dancing and drinking wine,

(optional chorus used on an episode of The League)
D     G      A
happy birthday,
      B      G
happy birthday,
      A      D
happy birthday,

D
and when they got home they were horny as hell,
and your dad threw your mom down on the bed,
       G
and he tore her panties off,
                  D
and his penis was hard as a rock,
and then your mom really wanted to give your dad head,
but your dad also wanted to give your mom head,
        G
so they formed a sixty-nine,
                     D
and your mom came at least three times,

D
and then your dad was so excited to get inside your mom ,
that he forgot to put a condom on,
            G
and when he realized his mistake,
A                                D
he had ejaculated and it was too late,

D             G       A
and then your mom got pregnant,
         D           G
and your dad started crying,
               D             A
he wanted your mom to get an abortion,
         D            G
but your mom wanted a child,
A
and nine months later your were born,
    G                                    D
 and five months later your parents got a divorce