D

[Verse 1]
N.C.
When I get to heaven, I'm gonna shake God's hand
N.C.
Thank him for more blessings than one man can stand
N.C.
Then I'm gonna get a guitar and start a rock-n-roll band
N.C.
Check into a swell hotel; ain't the afterlife grand?

[Chorus]
N.C.                       A                  D
And then I'm gonna get a cocktail: vodka and ginger ale
                         G                           D
Yeah, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette that's nine miles long
                      A                 D
I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl on the Tilt-A-Whirl
         G             A           D
'Cause this old man is   goin' to town

[Verse 2]
D                                                  G
Then as God as my witness, I'm gettin' back into showbusiness
                  A
I'm gonna open up a nightclub called "The Tree of Forgiveness"
                                            D
And forgive everybody ever done me any harm
                                                    G                      A
Why, I might even invite a few choice critics, those syphilitic parasitics
                                                           D
Buy 'em a pint of Smithwick's and smother 'em with my charm

[Chorus]
N.C.                         A                   D
'Cause then I'm gonna get a cocktail: vodka and ginger ale
                         G                           D
Yeah, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette that's nine miles long
                      A                 D
I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl on the Tilt-A-Whirl
       G             A           D
Yeah this old man is   goin' to town

[Interlude]
A            D                G                      D
   Da da-da da-da da   Ba da da-da-da da-da   ba da da-da
            A                D                  G        A           D
Do do-do-do do-do   do do-do do-do-do    do da do-do-do do-do-do da-do

[Verse 3]
N.C.                      G                                           A
Yeah when I get to heaven,  I'm gonna take that wristwatch off my arm
                                                             D
What are you gonna do with time after you've bought the farm?
                                          G
And them I'm gonna go find my mom and dad,  and good old brother Doug
    A                                                        D
Why I'll bet him and cousin Jackie are still cuttin' up a rug
                                   G
I wanna see all my mama's sisters,   'cause that's where all the love starts
               A                                     D
I miss 'em all like crazy, bless their little hearts
                                      G
And I always will remember these words my daddy said
        N.C.                                                   A
He said, "Buddy, when you're dead, you're a dead pecker-head"
                                                           D
I hope to prove him wrong... that is, when I get to heaven

[Chorus]
N.C.                         A                   D
'Cause then I'm gonna get a cocktail: vodka and ginger ale
                         G                           D
Yeah, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette that's nine miles long
                     A                  D
I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl on the Tilt-A-Whirl
        G             A           D
Yeah, this old man is   goin' to town
        G             A           D
Yeah, this old man is   goin' to town

[Outro]
          A                D                   G         A         D
Da da-da do-do do   Da da da-do-do-do   do-do-do-do do  do-do  do-do