A   Am  Asus4  B7   C  Cmaj7  D    E    Em
e]---0----0----0---------0----0----2----0----0---|
B]---2----1----3----0----1----0----3----0----0---|
G]---2----2----2----2----0----0----2----1----0---|
D]---2----2----2----1----2----2----0----2----2---|
A]---0----0----0----2----3----3---------2----2---|
E]------------------0---------3---------0----0---|




 VERSE 1:
Em                                             Cmaj7
It’s out of my hands and all I can do it wait
                                                    Am
It’s the not knowing that has put me in this state
                                                       B7
The minutes feel like hours, the tension is too great

I’ve done my part so now it’s in the hands of fate...


 CHORUS 1:
        Em                   C
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
     D                                      B7
I shouldn’t have fucked that prostitute without a prophylactic
        Em                   C
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
    D                               B7
Regret is dripping from me like my semen down her crack
           Em
And now I wait…


 VERSE 2:
Em                                                               Cmaj7
My nerves, they have been frayed; my pants, they have been shat
                                                       Am
I know the nurse will say, “It’s time to have a chat”
                                                B7
At least I’ll never worry about getting... fat
                      (stop)  N/C
I should think positive – no, wait, I didn’t say that!


 CHORUS 2:
        Em                   C
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
    D                                B7
I never should have blown the tranny in my Cadillac
        Em                   C
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
        D                                  B7
I just had to taste that sweet, forbidden nectar from his sack
Em
And now I wait…


 VERSE 3:
Em                                      Cmaj7
Is it over, will my jersey be retired?
                                                 Am
Will my name stitched upon a quilt be required?
                                                B7 (stop)
Did I make a difference, was my life inspired?
N/C
Will Denzel Washington defend me when I’m fired?


 CHORUS 3:
        Em                   C
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
 D                               B7
Eating assholes shouldn’t be an aphrodisiac
        Em                   C
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
D                              B7
If I’m clean I swear to God I will stop shooting smack... probably


 INTERLUDE:
Em - A - Asus4 - A (x2)


 BRIDGE:
 Em                    A  Asus4 A Em                A    Asus4   A
Boys and girls, don't be nieve - take it from your Uncle Steve
 Em                  A  Asus4  A  Em              A     Asus4   A
AIDS cares not whom it affects; caught from unprotected sex
 Em                A      Asus4 A   Em            A   Asus4   A
Sharing needles, blood or spit, or piss or semen, even shit
      Em                   A     Asus4   A
From handshakes, sneezes, toilet seats
      Em                 A     Asus4   A
From monkey bites and uncooked meats
      Em               A         Asus4   A
From dirty coins and dreadlocked hair
      Em               A    Asus4   A
From certain children in daycare
       Em              A       Asus4   A
From drinking water, breathing air
   Em                A   Asus4   A
I tell you, AIDS is everywhere (!)


 PD- OUTRO:
    C                 D
Oh God, I can't take anymore!
    C                   D
I think I'll run right out that door!
     C                       D
But wait, the nurse comes straight away!
 C  (single strum)  D  (single strum) 
Tell me, what does my test say...?


 OUTRO:
      E
I’m okay!
 D    E
I’m okay!
 D    E
I’m okay!
      D        E
It’s just chlamydia...