Came back from late night shopping,
saw your shadow on the curtain.
I presume you let yourself in
with the key you've yet to return.

You ask me how I've been,
and if I've seen much snow.
Skilfully avoiding things
that happened here a year ago.

So she's turned you out, has she?
well I can't say I'm surprised.
After last year's festive fuss,
I find it hard to sympathise.

I slid through slush on boxing day,
the shops were shut, no films were on.
You swanned around to hers,
And left a note to say you'd gone.

Stood by the fireplace,
you look ridiculous.
You can't just come and stay here,
like you did last Christmas.
You know what you did wrong, and Christmas,
Christmas is cancelled this year

The last thing I expected
was to come and find you knocking
at my door waiting for a treat
in Christmas stockings -how shocking.

Don't take your jacket off,
this is not your home.
Just raise a glass to two more people
spending Christmas day alone.

Stood by the fireplace,
you look ridiculous.
You can't just come and stay here,
like you did last Christmas.
You know what you did wrong, and Christmas,
Christmas is cancelled this year

no you don't worry about me
i just have fish and chips for two
i watch the queen and go to sleep
i watch the queen and go to sleep