Am      G#dim   Am                    G7                 C
There's only one way to please her, I have to pluck her, with my tweezer.

       C                      G7
If I wanna go out, cuz the afternoon is sunny

  C                               G7
That's when she says, "Come on, pluck me honey."

   Am                                        G7        Am
I pluck, and pluck, and pluck and think I'm done, and then

 D7                               G7       C
That's when she says, "Come on, pluck me again."

       C                          G7
This pluck, pluck, plucking is a source of stress:

  C                             G7
Forget just once and she's a plucking mess.

   Am                             G7        Am
I pluck her on a Sunday and she looks real nice

  D7                            G7        C
Monday comes along, I have to pluck her twice.

  F                        Fm
Pluck her in the morning. Pluck her all the day.

  D#                                    D#m   G#m      Bb
Pluck her in the evening, til there's nothing left to say.

    C                                    G7
Sometimes I'm forced to wonder, "Have I just run out of luck?"

      C                               G7
Does she love me for me, or does she just love to get plucked?

      Am                               G7      Am
Just once, I'd like to keep my tweezer on the shelf.

      D7                              G7        C
Just once, I'd like to say, "Honey, pluck yourself."

     F                            Fm
My friends say I"m such a lucky plucker.

       C                D7
True enough, I have to say.

         F                 G7
If her beard did not grow back,

                C
I'd pluck her anyway.

                 F            C     G7  C
(Well, look at her--wouldn't you?)