Gm

[Verse 1]
Dm
It said quarter to five,
Bb
But it was quarter to ass,
C
You thought your plumbing was safe,
Gm
But your jeans were half-mast.
Bb
Another coin down the drain,
C                                 Bb
Now that's some change that won't last.

[Verse 2]
Dm
Twenty-five cents at a time,
Bb
He's taking our souls,
C
Government-man can't help,
Gm
We're all alone.
Bb
Are you feeling the breeze?
C
Did you pull your belt tight?
Gm
You know that it's wrong,
Gm
You know that it's right.

[Bridge 1]
F
Out of the shadows,
C             Gm    Bb
Down the coin goes.
F        C         Gm
Why, oh, why d'you suppose?
A
(Only the Bandit knows)

[Chorus]
Bb             C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh!
Dm        C
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K Bandit
Bb             C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Dm      C                     Bb
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K can't stand it

[Verse 3]
Dm
Coins on the sidewalk,
Bb
Coins in the palm of my hand,
C
Coins in the ass crack,
Gm
Or the eyes of a dead man.
Bb
Drawn from the shadows,
C
Quartered by fate,
Gm
He's the Ass Crack Bandit,
Gm
Enemy of the state.

[Chorus]
Bb             C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh!
Dm        C
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K Bandit
Bb             C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Dm      C
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K can't stand it
Bb             C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Gm
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K

[Bridge 2]
Bb
He'll give you no quarter,
                      Dm
But he'll... give you *a* quarter,
Bb
The government just takes your change away,
Maybe we're the crooks, and he's the hero,
                        Dm
Maybe he's the Messiah, who's to say?

[Verse 4]
Dm
Save yourself a coin,
Bb
For the ferryman,
C
Crossing the River,
Gm
Styx of your ass,
Bb
Wipe the smile from your face, kids,
C
'cause this ain't funny,
C
And don't forget your,
Gm
Jukebox money!

[Chorus]
Bb             C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh!
Dm        C
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K Bandit
Bb             C
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Dm      C
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K can't stand it

[Bridge 3]
Bb
Can't stand the fear,
C
Can't stand not knowing,
Bb
Can't stand forever,
C
Eventually, we all bend over

[Outro]
Bb
In the end, yeah,
C
We all bend over,
Bb
In the end, yeah,
C
We all bend over,
Bb
Your brothers, your sisters,
C
They all bend over,
Bb
Your friends and enemies,
C
They all bend over,
Bb
You and me,
C
We all bend over,
Bb
Even the president,
C
We all bend over...