Have you met Toad?
He's Princess Peach's PA
Just between us, I think he's definitely gay
You may not agree, but listen close and you'll see
He's very likely to be a big gay
(Big gay)

He shops for shoes like Aretha Franklin in a big hat store
He's a Judy idolizer, with facial moisturizer galore
(Gay gay gay gay gay)

He loves ballet
And he owns the Golden Girls on DVD
He went to seminary
Link says hes a fairy for sure
(And Link knows his fairies)

On the other hand, he may just be metro
Plenty of guys are goin' that way, today-ay
And if he's gay, we still would like
(Would like)
Would like
(Would like)
Him an-
(Him an-)
-y way!

That's my friend Toad,
So yeah he's definitely gay
It's not his fault, they cultivated him that way
He swears that he's bi, we're pretty sure its a lie,
But either way a fungi, who says "haayy!"