G
Everyday in lunch in high school
       D
And all my senior year,
                              C             G
I'd drink my coca-cola with a touch of everclear.
                             D
I didn't have to study math, science or history,
                                 C            G
I'd have a chemical flashback to jog my memory.
                               D
My junior year I swore I loved sweet miss Sherry Ann
                                      C           G
One night I put some everclear in her dr. pepper can.
  C
I thought it would make her easy,
G
But she took it pretty hard
           D
I took her home and rang her doorbell,
           C              G
Left her laying in the yard.

CHORUS
C                G
Tequila dries me out,
C                       G
And beer just makes me fat,
D
Whiskey makes me nauseous,
        C                  G
Tell me who the hell needs that.
G
If you're thinkin' bout drinkin,
     D
The answer's crystal clear,

It's the invisible intoxicant,
C
It's called everclear.

Riff 1 x2

G
I remember my church picnic
        D
In the spring of '89

They had four fresh watermelons,
C                         G
Sliced right off the vine.

When the bowed their heads
D
Giving Grace for the food,

I pulled out my bottle,
           C             G
And I soaked them melons good.

They never knew what hit em,
         D
When the potion went to work,

They had grandmas doing backflips,
         C                G
Grandpas looking up their skirts.
          C
They were singing hallelujah,
    G
And Willie Nelson songs.
            D
My preacher said it was the best dang picnic
         C
That the Baptists have ever thrown.

CHORUS
C                G
Tequila dries me out,
C                       G
And beer just makes me fat,
D
Whiskey makes me nauseous,
        C                  G
Tell me who the hell needs that.
G
If you're thinkin' bout drinkin,
     D
The answer's crystal clear,

It's the invisible intoxicant,
C
It's called everclear.

G  O
Play RIFF 1, 3 times

G
Well now I'm drinking everclear,
             D
Thinking I'm king of this whole world

I'm bigger n badder than John Wayne,
C                  G
Cooler than Steve Earl.
G                      D
Till I wake up and I'm face down in the hall,
                               C              G
And I'm completely naked for a reason I can't recall
G                            D
I'm kinda sorta thinkin that maybe I met a chick

Cause there is perfume in the air 
             C             G
And there is lipstick on my neck
       C
Well I hope that she was pretty,
      G
And I hope that she was kind
D
Enough to leave my clothes somewhere 
        C
They're easy to find

CHORUS
C                G
Tequila dries me out,
C                       G
And beer just makes me fat,
D
Whiskey makes me nauseous,
        C                  G
Tell me who the hell needs that.
G
If you're thinkin' bout drinkin,
     D
The answer's crystal clear,

It's the invisible intoxicant,
C
It's called everclear.