A long, long time ago,
In the land of idiot boys,
There live a cat, a phenomenal cat,
Who loved to wallow all day.

No one bothered him
As he sat, content in his tree.
He just lived to eat 'cause it kept him fat,
And that's how he wanted to stay.

Though he was big and fat,
All the world was good to him,
And he pointed out on the map
All the places he had been.
[Cowes, Cathage,Karthom,Cannes?], [India,Sardinia?], Kathmandu,
The Scilley Isles and Sahara, too

Fum, fum, diddle-um di
La la la la, la-la la la
La la la la, la-la la la la
La la la la-la la la

Once when he was thin
He had flown to old Hong Kong,
And had learned the secret of life,
And the sea and the sky beyond.
So he gave up his diet and sat in a tree,
And ate himself through eternity.

Fum, fum, diddle-um di
La la la la la-la la la
La la la la, la-la la la la
La la la la-la la la
Fum, fum, diddle-um di
Fum, fum, diddle-um di